Monday, November 17, 2008

Like mother like daughter?? LOL

Why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darnit, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA : The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road

HILLARY CLINTON : When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR! so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?

- author (authors?) unknown

Monday, November 03, 2008

If I was keeping score, I'd have to say today was a winner!

Today was the last day of a four day weekend. I treated myself to Friday and Monday off to relax before and after my annual "No Men Allowed" Christmas shopping trip to Portland Maine with my mom, sister, aunts and cousins. I spent lots of money and had just as much fun.

Instead of staying home today, I drove to my hometown and met up with a "long lost" friend from school. It was a great day. We had great conversation. After I left her, I stopped by my dad's house to see him since I was there and it's an hour and 20 minute drive.

My stepmother didn't let me down. She gave me her usual negative remarks. I nearly laughed in her face when she told me that my "bangs" were too short and looked like I had a receding hairline. It used to cut deep, but now, I am just amused by her stupidity. It's called a PIXIE beotch! hahahahahaha SNORT

When I was leaving, my dad went out to his car and grabbed a bag. When he handed it to me, he told me not to open it until I got home. I obeyed. :) When I walked into my house, I opened it up, having no clue what it could be, and nearly dissolved into tears when I realized that it was his blue cardigan. He used to wear this sweater all of the time. It was hand knit by someone he knew in Maine. We had a conversation about a month ago and I told him that he could NOT ever die, but in the event it happened, I didn't care what my step-monster withheld from us, out of spite, the only thing I wanted was his blue sweater because it held so many dear memories of him in every stitch. He gave me the only guarantee he could by giving it to me while he is still alive. It smells like him and fresh tears spring to my eyes each time I smell it.

After dinner, I took the girls to the mall to pick up E's ring. The stone was loose so I had to send it out to be fixed. On the way, I stopped to get gas and got it for $2.17/gallon!!! Such a great way to end a great day.

When we were at the mall, we swung into Lenscrafter's to get E's glasses fixed (she slept on them). I had picked up a pair of lime green reading glasses at Target this weekend and wanted to know if they could put my prescription in them. They said they couldn't because they weren't made to change the lenses :( So I looked around and found a really cool pair of Vogue Lime Green glasses that shouted my name. Now, I don't know what to do. With lenses, $309. GAH!